


magnetic.

by papersurrous



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Fluff, Multi, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:49:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25886113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papersurrous/pseuds/papersurrous
Summary: In which Five is tired of all the utensils disappearing.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves & Reader, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	magnetic.

**Author's Note:**

> warning: mild swearing

All the spoons are missing.

The utensils rattle as Five pushes the drawer shut, mouth twisting in irritation. On the table a few feet away lies his bowl of cereal, filled to the brim and swimming in milk, and every passing second it gets a little soggier. It’s nasty. He doesn’t even like cereal that much in the first place. 

Maybe he wouldn’t be so annoyed if this hadn’t happened before. _However_ , it has, and he knows exactly where all the spoons have gone.

Dumping his cereal into the sink (no use leaving it out to turn into mush), Five stalks out of the kitchen and up the stairs towards the bedrooms. It’s only six in the morning, hardly the time to get up when it’s a Saturday and Dad’s gone on a trip, so silence fills up most of the mansion for once. Luther’s room is quiet as he passes by – so are Allison’s and Diego’s.

Once he reaches Klaus’ room, however, he stops. 

Muffled giggling seeps out from under the door. It’s familiar – no, more than familiar; he knows that laughter like the back of his hand, more than his own or any of his siblings’. His eyes narrow.

It’s easy to teleport into the room (even easier than knocking, which he doesn’t bother to do), and what he sees once he comes through is a sight to behold. The bed is a mountain of blankets and pillows and Klaus, his hair a tangled mess and eyes wild with delight, perches cross-legged on top of it. A sputtering giggle escapes his mouth as he claps. 

He’s clapping, of course, because across from him are all the missing spoons, hanging from your arms and face like Christmas ornaments as you snicker along with your accomplice.

Five can’t even say anything he hasn’t said before. Dimwits, the two of you are. Whatever brain cells either of you possess cancel each other out as soon as you’re together.

“Oh! Five!” You finally notice his stare of disdain, waving one hand. The spoons move along with you, knocking together with sharp metallic clinks. “Look, isn’t it cool? They stick on much longer now. I might be able to attract magnets soon.”

“Fantastic.” Five’s voice is dry. 

Your smile remains as you tug at a spoon on your cheek. The skin stretches away from your face a little before letting go, and you let the utensil dangle from your index finger as you scoot off the bed and approach him.

“Here, try it,” you urge, and Klaus cheers in agreement behind you. “You can even put it over my eye if you want.”

You sway the spoon in front of him like a carrot before a horse. Five’s nose scrunches, and he pushes your hand away.

“Why the hell are you doing this at six in the morning? I need a spoon for my breakfast.”

“Party pooper,” Klaus sings. He jumps from his mattress and runs over to hug you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “If you’re so hungry, Five, just drink from the bowl. It’s more fun anyway.”

Five fixes his brother with a glare, jaw tightening as the other boy hangs from you like one of your spoons. This is stupid, he tells himself. There’s no time for this. He should’ve just made himself a goddamn peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich and spared himself from dealing with – whatever you two are doing.

(No, it’s not jealousy. It’s _not_. He just doesn’t know how two people can reach this level of dumbass.)

“I didn’t know it was six already,” you murmur thoughtfully, dropping your hand. “Have we really been up that long?”

“You haven’t slept all _night_?”

Klaus’ smile flattens the slightest bit and he sucks his upper lip, stepping around to stand next to you. “I couldn’t sleep, so [Y/n] said we should have a slumber party. Wouldn’t you know? People actually don’t do any slumber during them!”

“You woke [Y/n] up because you had a nightmare?”

The rest of the necromancer’s cheerfulness droops. You intervene, putting a hand on Five’s shoulder, and he looks down at it while you grin.

“It’s really okay,” you insist. “We drank a ton of soda, so I don’t even feel that tired.”

Klaus nods eagerly. Five’s expression softens just a little. (He _does_ notice how tired he actually is, after all. It’s not as if he has no idea what Number Four’s power does to him; it’s a dark and twisted thing, seeing the dead, and probably hell at night.)

Still –

Five rolls his eyes, exhaling through his nose. “Well, I’m not responsible for whatever goes on here, so knock yourselves out. Just don’t steal all the spoons in the house again.”

You hum. That Smile spreads across your face again and it’s directed at him but he only scoffs, crossing his arms.

“You act like an old man, you know,” Klaus points out. “If you keep it up, you’ll have had no character development at all by fifty.”

Five deadpans. “Get some sleep, Klaus.”

Without thinking, he takes the spoon in your hand and sticks it onto the middle of your forehead before walking off. The idea of doing a spatial jump doesn’t cross his mind until you chirp a ‘good morning’ after him, after which he skips straight back to the kitchen in order to avoid saying it back.

The box of cornflakes is still on the counter. Five leaves it there and heads to the pantry to pull out a loaf of bread, along with the peanut butter and marshmallows.

The butter knives are plentiful. A sandwich will have to do.

**Author's Note:**

> if you want, check out my tumblr [@paperpocalypse](https://paperpocalypse.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
